Part 1: Background 

Early Life and Education: “I knew nothing during that time because I was too young, but other people told me the story about it.”

Hser Gay Paw was first displaced at the age of five. 

I was born in Kler Thay Lu village

[Karen State], and I lived there for 5 years. After that, I moved to Mae La [refugee camp]. We moved to Mae La because the DKBA came and attacked our village. I knew nothing during that time because I was too young, but other people told me the story about it. At that time, my father served in the Karen army [KNLA], and our village was next to the Karen army camp.

I grew up in Mae La camp. I studied and I got married there. I went to the Eden Valley Academy [EVA] School. I studied there until T-4 [grade 9]. After that, I kept on studying grade 10 at another school, No. 1 high school. In 2006, I moved to this place where I am living now. I am 27 now [in January 2017].

 

Family: “I don’t want to go there; I love living in Karen State.” 

I have three children, and one of them is my adopted child. My eldest child is 8 years old, and second child is 4 years old. My adopted child is 10 days old, and he is male. His parents got divorced. His father left him with his mother, but his mother could not afford to raise him; therefore, I took and adopted him. Both of my own children are female, so it is a blessing for me that I get an adopted baby boy. They [her children] are studying here [in Mu Aye Pu].

My husband is a [KNDO] soldier. I live with husband and my children. Sometimes, my parents-in-law come and visit me. They live very far away from here. They live in Brigade 1 in Thaton District in Burma.

My siblings are living in the US with my father, and they move there as [part of the UN] resettlement program. I have three brothers and one sister. My mother already died. I was still a child when my mother passed away. She died from the cancer disease. I can keep in touch with them [family in the US] at least once a week. They cannot afford to support me. The income that they get is just enough for them. My brothers and my sister work in meat factory [like chopping meat], and my father works in the turkey industry.

Hser Gay Paw chose not to go to the US when the rest of her family was resettled there in 2007, even though she had registered with the UNHCR. She doesn’t have any other type of ID.  

I don’t want to go there; I love living in Karen State. I just want to stay here because my husband is also working here and I want to stay with him. My children also don’t have the UN ID [registration].  Our family would be separated if I moved to the US alone.

 

Moving between Mu Aye Pu and Mae La: “I moved here because my husband has workplace here and serves as a soldier.”

Hser Gay Paw has moved a total of six times counting when she first moved to Mae La at the age of five.

I moved to Mae La Camp due to the DKBA attack. In 2006, I moved to this place [Mu Aye Pu] where I am living now. I moved here because my husband has workplace here and serves as a soldier. Therefore, I came and stayed with him. I felt okay [about moving]. At that time, we also had a school, Karen army camp, and villages here; however, we did not have roofs like this [corrugated iron]. Previously, all the roofs were made of thatch.

There were many people at the time. Some of them lived in Terler Poelay and Hteepah Taw next to here. We also lived close to the Karen National Defense Organization (KNDO) and a battalion of the Karen National Liberation Army (KNLA). There were probably about 500 people in total.

I taught at one of the middle school in Mae La camp for two years from 2007 to 2008. In late 2008, I moved here [again]. After that, I went back to Mae La again in 2009 owing to the attack of the DKBA. I moved back here again in 2013 and live here till now [Mu Aye Pu].

 

Experiencing Armed Conflict: “The KNLA did not want to fight against the DKBA anymore at the time because they [KNLA] said that we all are Karen, and we would kill each other more and more if we kept on fighting.”

After returning to Mu Aye Pu in late 2008, Hser Gay Paw was soon forced to move back to Mae La when DKBA attacked the village in July 2009.  

At that time, the DKBA and KNU’s military wing KNLA had not reunited yet, so they were fighting. The DKBA was supported by Burmese military, and it [DKBA] was asked to come back and fight against the KNLA. My previous house was located at the rear of my current house during that time. My oldest daughter was 7 months old. The conflict happened in July 2009, during the rainy season. I heard a lot of gunshots. The KNLA moved backward and let the DKBA come. The KNLA did not want to fight against the DKBA anymore at the time because they [KNLA] said that we all are Karen, and we would kill each other more and more if we kept on fighting. The DKBA who were fighting on the frontline were all Karen; the Burmese military just stayed behind and forced them [DKBA] to move forward and fight.

At the beginning, I was not afraid of it because I got used to living in Karen military area, and I heard these kinds of gunshots very often. Later on, the gunshots sounded closer and closer to me, so I started being afraid.  At that time, all people ran away from this place [Mu Aye Pu] apart from my daughter, my sister-in-law, and me.  I asked my husband whether I should stay here or move, and he said that it was okay to stay here. He said they [DKBA] would not come here, so I felt very comfortable, and there was no worry about it for me. Later on, I went and took a bath, and I met some KNLA soldiers from battalion No. 202.  The captain of KNLA battalion No. 202 told me, “Why haven’t you run yet?  All the families of the soldiers have run across the river except your family.”  I said, “I don’t know.” He said, “Aren’t you afraid of dying?” At that time, I was kidding him and told him that I would not run anymore; I would stay on the frontline and fight together with him. Actually, I was really afraid. After that, I ran back home immediately and told my husband to send me across the river.

 

Fleeing to Mae La: “My house was still very new at the time. It was burned down by the DKBA. The whole village, including the clinic was burned down.”

It was 7:30 pm when I ran across the Thoo Mweh Klaw [Moei] River. It got dark when I arrived on the highway in Thailand. I travelled by car [to Mae La], and the captain of my husband, Shee K’ Lu sent me at that time.  The DKBA arrived at the place where we are living now [Mu Aye Pu] when I reached Ka Toe Hta at 8 pm. I was not able to bring anything with me. I just went back to get my children and brought a few clothes. I was in a hurry at that time because the gunshots sounded very close to me. I left many of my belongings such as pots, dishes, pigs, chicken, goats, and ducks. I could not bring any of them at that time. I also grew some vegetables and fruits in my [garden], and I did not have a chance to eat them anymore.

My house was still very new at the time. It was burned down by the DKBA. The whole village, including the clinic was burned down. The houses that were good and were made of wood like wooden teak, they [DKBA] dismantled them [the houses] and took them [the wood]. They also sold some wood for money. The houses that were not good [bamboo houses] were burned down.

[Living in Mae La] was fine at that time because I still had some of my relatives such as my aunts, uncles, and grandparents from my father’s side there. Living in Mae La was very safe. There was no fear. [But] I prefer living here to Mae La. I feel safe to live here, too. I believe everything is under the control of God. If God wants me to stay here, I will. If God wants me to move, I will, too.

 

Part 2: Life in January 2017

Life after the DKBA attack: “There was nothing left here. It was very grassy; there were a lot of reeds when I first came back here. Moreover, this area was full of landmines…”

After the 2009 attack and living in Mae La for four years, Hser Gay Paw returned to her Mu Aye Pu in 2013. 

There was nothing left here. It was very grassy; there were a lot of reeds when I first came back here. Moreover, this area was full of landmines, and the Karen army tried to remove and clean them. General Nerdah and his friends tried to help to build our houses, school, and a clinic. Some of them [people in Mae La] came back here. They came here because their husbands are working as soldiers here. There is no problem for me. God prepares the perfect thing for me day by day.

Currently, the population here is fewer than what it was in the past. When I first arrived here in 2013, there were only two or three houses here. The clinic had not been built yet at the time. It was different from now. I previously lived in a bamboo house with a thatch roof, but my current house is much better than the previous one.

 

Livelihood Situation: “I eat together with the students. Sometimes it is adequate, and sometimes it is inadequate for us.”

Hser Gay Plaw was able to take a free six-month medical training arranged by General Nerdah. She stopped teaching in May 2016, and is happy with becoming a medic.

I worked as a teacher previously, but now I am working as a medic in the school because we need a medic in our school. I taught in Mae La for only two years and one year here.

I want to be a medic because there are a lot of children in school who are sick very often. Therefore, I want to help them to take care of their health so that they can study smoothly without sickness. I love it. I am satisfied with my job because everything is in the hands of God. I can do it because God helps me and provides for me, and I also try my best as much as I can. I get no salary. I plant fruits and vegetables, and I also breed animals for my livelihood. I myself couldn’t do it [alone]. It is because of the blessing of God.

Food has become an issue in the village, as there are not enough supplies to feed all the students properly.

I eat together with the students. Sometimes it is adequate, and sometimes it is inadequate for us. I get [rice] from Nerdah’s friend. We do not need to pay any water fee because we get it from the stream, but we need pipes. For the electricity, Nerdah’s friend came and provided solar energy for us. We still need more solar panels and batteries. I can use it only for my house for a few hours, not for my school yet.

I look after the students in the health sector and give them knowledge how to take care of their health. We do not have enough medicine here. If the students are seriously sick, and I cannot treat them here, I send them to another place. We send them to Mae La camp. We cannot send them to Thai hospitals because Thai hospitals are very expensive. [When I need help] I talk to Nerdah unless I can handle the serious patients. For the small things, I handle them by myself.

 

Ongoing Conflict: “We were worried that if something happened during the nighttime, we could not run, and we would all be in trouble.”

 In October and November 2016, there was fighting around Mu Aye Pu between the BGF and DKBA. The fighting displaced around 6,000 Karen civilians, and sent villagers in Mu Aye Pu across the river back to Thailand. Unlike many other newly displaced Karen civilians, Hser Gay Paw and others have been able to return to live in Mu Aye Pu.

I was afraid of it [the fighting], and I moved to Thai side and slept there during the night and came back here in the morning. We were also worried [about] the small students, so we sent them to the Thai side at that time in case the fighting happened here. They all moved there. We slept there [Thai side] during the night and came back and studied here during the daytime. We were worried that if something happened during the nighttime, we could not run, and we would all be in trouble. We prepared two or three houses there, so we stayed together there. We did like this for a month.

 

Karen Diaspora: “In the US, they said that they needed to pay water fee, electricity fee, and so on. They said they would become beggars unless they had jobs and tried hard.”

In addition to having her family in the US, Hser Gay Paw still stays in contact with some friends who have moved to third countries

I have some friends who live in foreign countries. We previously lived together in the same dormitory, class, and school before they moved to the third countries [from Mae La camp]. Some of them said that they would give me a bit pocket money if they came back and visited me here. Some said that living in the US is more expensive than living in Mu Aye Pu. In the US, they said that they needed to pay water fee, electricity fee, and so on. They said they would become beggars unless they had job and tried hard. 

 

Human Rights and Peace in Burma: “We need help from God. We also need freedom, rights, sovereignty, peace and our own state.”

Hser Gay Paw says she does not participate in any political activities, but she was exposed to human rights organizations during her time in Mae La.

I have heard about women’s rights, human rights, and child rights while I was living in Mae La. I have heard some organizations that work for human rights, but I can’t recognize them anymore.

Hser Gay Paw says she does not know much about the current conflict situation or peace process in other parts of the country, but she trusts Karen leaders and feels as though the Karen people have a voice in the world. Any information she receives comes from the leaders. Hser Gay Paw says she would also like to get more information about the peace process.

I have heard that the conflict happened three months ago because the Burmese military was going build a dam in Salween River [Hatgyi dam], but the Karen people did not allow them to build it.

We need help from God. We also need freedom, rights, sovereignty, peace and our own state. For me, peace means peace, and it also means the Karen people need to have unity, freedom, home, and a state. To get peace, I think there is only one way — to fight for it. I don’t think the Burmese military will give it us for free. It is possible if God makes a way. I do not think about my future. I think everything is the hand of God.

 

Part 3: Update in June 2017 

Family & Livelihood: “I went back to Mae La [to give birth] with my husband by motorbike from here.”

I just take care of my children as well as take care of dormitory students. I am responsible for health as a medic.

Since the last interview in January, Hser Gay Paw gave birth to another child.

He was born in Mae Ramat, May 23, 2017. I went back with my husband by motorbike from here to Mae La. After that, I went by hospital car which was provided by the IRC [International Rescue Committee]. I went to Mae Ramat hospital, and the doctor did the [caesarean section] operation on me. I went there in the morning of May 23rd.

I have heart disease, so the doctor told me that I have to give birth by C-section. The doctor used ultrasound for checking. They normally give vaginal birth, but as for me, I cannot give birth like other women. I always need operation to give birth. The doctor delivered both of my children by C-section. I got a leave for 6 months due to having a new baby. After that, I will resume my job.

She still lives with her family, and her husband is still working as a trainer for the KNDO. The baby boy she adopted in January is doing well. Two of her older children are studying and Hser Gay Paw believes their education will be very useful in the future.

 The younger one [daughter] is studying here. The elder one is studying at Thai school. They are in kindergarten. The reason why I let my older child go to Thai school is because I want her to learn Thai, and then she can come back and teach here in the future. It [Thai school] commenced in May 15. I don’t need to pay. It is free.

Hser Gay Paw grows vegetables on the land around her house, and shares it with the students. Her husband sells any surplus they may have. They also receive one and half bags of rice per month [from KNDO]. Similarly to her views in January, Hser Gay Paw feels that her family has enough food.

I have planted pumpkin, gourd, eggplant, cucumber, and lady finger. These vegetables belong to all of us who stay here. These are for me as well as for the students. We share and eat these together.  We usually harvest them every three days to sell them.

 

Feeding the Students: “We encourage the students not to give up their education even though they do not have enough food. We will try to find a way to deal with it as much as we can.” 

This year the school level is expanded. It started from KG (Kindergarten) to 10^th standard. There were 126 students last year, and this year there are 200 students. Most of the new students came from the conflict zones of Karen State, Burma. Their relatives brought them here. Their families cannot support them for education. The students told me the names of their villages, but I have never been there … I don’t remember all the names of their villages anymore.

Therefore, we have half more students [a 50% increase], and they face a problem with food. I have enough for my family, but we have a problem with food for the dormitory students. They do not have enough. However, we encourage the students not to give up their education even though they do not have enough food. We will try to find a way to deal with it as much as we can. Every day they normally eat the yellow beans [with rice], also including cooking oil and chilies.

 

Funding & Aid: “We still need more 10 bags of rice each month.”

Hser Gay Paw says the students used to get enough food and rice, but with the student enrollment numbers rising, food has become an increasing concern.

The donor reduced the food this year. Last year, we got 30 bags of rice per month, but this year we only get 20 bags of rice per month. The students normally consume 3 bags of rice for 2 days. One bag of rice weighs 40 kilos.

The donors said that they cannot support more than that. They can only support 20 bags per month. Actually, to be enough for students we need 50 bags of rice per month. Fortunately, one donor from Chiang Mai also helps us with 20 bags of rice per month. However, we still need 10 bags of rice more each month. One Chinese donor [gives the first 20 bags of rice]. They usually come here once a year. They will still continue supporting every month. We get 40 bags of rice per month in total.

 

Much Needed Support: “No one supports us; only the KNDO [and their partners].”

If they [students] are not in serious [health] situation, we cure them here. However, if they are in serious condition, we send them to Mae La clinic. We don’t have adequate medicine here, so if the students are seriously sick, we send them to Mae La. Previously one of the students had a stomach problem [Gastritis] as well as intestinal epithelium. We could not take responsibility for this patient; therefore, we sent him to Mae La clinic. He is [OK now].

There are not enough books for the students. Some books are supported by the KED [Karen Education Department], but [there are] not enough teachers. We don’t have enough teachers here, but we have some part-time foreign [volunteer] teachers. General Nerdah arranges these teachers for the students.

Moreover, they [students] need rain coats or umbrellas and boots or slippers. Some of them walk barefoot without wearing anything. Some have to walk in the rain without an umbrella. The reason is because they don’t have one. Currently we urgently need 10 more bags of rice [per month], rain coats or umbrellas, and shoes or slippers for the students.

No one supports us; only the KNDO [and their partners].

 

Human Rights: “KWO [Karen Women’s Organization] is working for women’s rights”

During the first interview in January, Hser Gay Paw said she has been exposed to human rights in mae La, but could not remember the names of specific groups. She can remember examples now. 

For example, some women face violence like domestic violence or violence outside their homes, or rape. KWO [Karen Women’s Organization] is working for women’s rights. When I was in Mae La camp, I also saw some people fought for women rights about violence against women. For the child rights, on one hand we need to know how take care of children. On the other hand, I think it is not okay to let the children be free without any control. We should give them rights that they should get, and we also need to control them in some areas. Otherwise, they will become naughty children.

 

Returning to her native village: “Unless it is okay, I dare not go back and live there.” 

I do [want to go to my native village], but I don’t think it will be okay for me to travel because I have small children currently. I want to go back and live there because it is my native village, and I love it. I still have some of my relatives there. We can’t [contact each other]. However, they came and visited here 10 years ago.

Hser Gay Paw does not know about the current situation in her native village since there is no way to communicate with the villagers, and would only return if she was able to visit first and make sure it was safe. Most important for her would be security, healthcare, and education.

I will go back to visit and see if the situation is okay or not. If it is okay, I will move. Unless it is okay, I dare not go back and live there. I can also ask from my village if they come across here. If I go back and stay there, I want to focus on my community development about social welfare like education or health care. I don’t have my parents’ house there, but I can stay with my relatives who live there. If the situation is getting better, I will definitely go back.

 

Peace and the future: “For me, as the General Nerdah said, if we don’t have freedom, it means we are slaves.”

Hser Gay Paw says she does not know about the conflict or political situation in detail. She also does not know about the current situation between the DKBA and the BGF, who were engaged in fierce fighting just before the last interview in January 2017.

I don’t know about it. If you want to know, you’d better the soldiers I think. I dare not ask them about it. It is because it is not my duty. I think it is in the hands of my leaders. My leaders take responsibility for it. Hopefully, we can get it [peace]. I think not only I want it but other Karen people. Some Karen leaders who are working on peace process now, they might have a good idea how to deal with it.

In the future, hopefully we have freedom in our country, and I also want to have higher education and good healthcare. For me, as the General Nerdah said if we don’t have freedom, it means we are slaves. Therefore, we need higher education to compare ourselves to other developed countries.

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END NOTE: Burma Link visited Hser Gay Paw in October and again in December 2017 for another follow up interview, but her/her family’s health situation was not apt for interviewing. In October, Hser Gay Paw had to leave Mu Aye Pu to take her baby boy to a hospital in Mae Salit, because he had difficulties with breathing. In December, Hser Gay Paw herself suffered from severe tooth ache and was unable to speak. She waiting to be taken to the hospital in Mae Salit. Her son who had been treated in the hospital in October was well in December.