‘I Cried When I Saw Churches, Villages and Homes Burning [in Kachin]’: Karenni Refugee Student and Burma Army Deserter

[myself] as a person [become older], I felt and saw that my parents were so poor. My mum couldn’t read or write and my dad could read only a little. The lives of my parents were difficult and they didn’t have any heritage from their relatives. My dad just took up any job that came by. Both of my parents worked as fishermen.  Being a fisherman is also difficult, especially when there is no fish to catch. As they didn’t have a motorbike, they had to carry fish by themselves to the market.

As a poor family, my parents couldn’t support us for education. When I was a child at the age of three to four years, I went to farm with my mum. I couldn’t go to nursery school like my older brother did. I spent my time with mum in the farm. I started go to KinderGarden-1 at the age of four and a half.  When I was a Grade 8 student, my older brother was studying in high school and at the same time my younger brothers were also studying in primary school. It was difficult for my parents to support all of us for our education at the same time. My dad had an uncertain job and we couldn’t depend on his income. Even rice, we had to buy. Therefore, my parents asked me to drop out of school.

My older brother could continue his high school because high school was important. For me, I had to struggle with life outside of school to support my family. As I only had a chance to study until middle school level, I could just read and write but I was not educated. I lived at home for more than 12 years and during that time I went to school starting from the age of four till I finished Grade 8.

Working from a young age: “I felt ashamed that I couldn’t go to school like my other friends”

When I was in the age of 12 to 15, I could help my family by doing any jobs that had an income. At the age of 13, I had to stop going to school.  While I was staying at home, I was helping my parents by feeding the pigs and taking care of my younger brothers. I supported my mum by selling fish. At the same time, I went to [work in] a farm at the nearby Ngay Thong Lake [Karenni tourist destination]. Some of my classmates and teachers encouraged me to go back to school when they saw me helping my mum selling fish in the market.

As a teenager, I felt ashamed that I couldn’t go to school like my other friends. I felt like I didn’t want to stay at home at that time, so I followed one of my uncles to be a worker at a logging field in Mawchi area [Karenni State]. In the summer, I worked at the logging field. In the winter and rainy season, I went back to my dad’s place to help in an [opium] poppy field. I earned some money from spending my time in the poppy field. I could ride a motorbike and I started using drugs. When my mum heard that I was using drugs and spending my life with drugs, she no longer allowed me to come back home.

When I was in the age of 16 and 17, I couldn’t help my family much. At that age, I couldn’t stop myself from wasting time with my friends. When I was the age of 16, I went to the Mandalay gold field and Kachin Hpakant mining field [to work] but couldn’t manage myself well. At the end, I had no idea [what to do] but to become a government [Burma Army] soldier.

After that I became a soldier. I had no more idea for my living, so I joined the military. When I worked with my uncle in the logging field, I had gotten to know some of the government soldiers who stayed at the check points. [It was also] because they had persuaded me, that I joined the military.

The Burma Army has long recruited children to serve as soldiers, particularly in the conflict areas in the ethnic borderlands. Although the Burma Army has reportedly discharged at least 849 children and young people from its ranks since 2012 — when Burma signed an agreement with the United Nations to stop recruiting children under 18 – recruitment of children and young people has continued. Khu Reh had just turned 17 when he joined the Burma Army the same year. Similarly to many other underaged recruits, he was lured into the army with promises of a better life. Read more about child soldiers n Burma here.

Life as a Burma Army soldier: “I cried when I saw churches, villages and homes burning” 

They told me that they would provide me with a monthly salary, accommodation and if I wanted to get married and have a family, they would provide a house for me. If I died, they would provide insurance. I thought that was my life so I decided to join the military. I went to military training in Panglong No-4 military training school [Shan State]. After finishing basic military training, I had to go to Kachin State in Laiza for one year.

I arrived in Kachin state in 2014. We sailed up to Bhamo along the Irrawaddy River with a military ship from Mandalay. From there, we launched operations on Laiza IDP (internally displaced person) camps and Kachin [Independence Army] headquarters. It took two weeks to get to Laiza headquarters by car and boat. There was fighting every day. After two weeks, we knew it was impossible to win the battle but when the aircrafts came to help us strike, Kachin troops withdrew so we occupied their base. After one or two weeks, the fighting stopped.

However, we [still] had to fight with black market dealers and we did some small attacks almost every day. Also, we had to clear landmines, as they were dangerous [for us]. During two weeks of occupation, we collected informal tax from the Chinese who were doing illegal logging there. As Chinese businessmen had good relationships with Kachin troops, we got into small battles when they didn’t want to pay taxes to us. We were just scouting for our enemy and illegal jade dealers and loggers in the forest under the rain and sun. I came back [from Kachin] because I finished my duty period there, not because of victory.

I suffered a lot. I did not think about anything when I went to become a soldier.  I was happy to learn any skills or knowledge. But I was taught how to kill people, so where could I use that? I thought there was no fighting in my place [Karenni state] but I had to go and fight ethnic Kachin. I cried when I saw churches, villages and homes burning. Since then, I have hated their [Burma Army] actions.

After I came back from Kachin, we had to practice shooting mortars in Daw Ta Ma Gyi [Karenni State]. At that time, local people demonstrated, so my commander ordered me to set up mines on the way local people travel. When I went to set up the mines, I realized people who will get hurt by mines that I set up are my Karenni people. I felt so bad. Since then, I suffered more and more, year by year.

In the third year, I tried to escape, and I deserted. I didn’t get any good benefit from being with the Burmese military. Moreover, supply or supports that they promised to provide came to nothing. I just wanted to escape from there and go back to my parents’ village to do farming with my grandparents.

About the Kachin conflict: In June 2011, the Burma Army attacked Kachin Independence Army (KIA) outposts breaking a 17-year old ceasefire. (It should also be noted that shortly after in January 2012, the Burma Army signed the first ever preliminary bilateral ceasefire with the Karen National Union (KNU) in the southeast, in line with their decades-old divide and rule strategy and concentrating offensives in one part of the country while maintaining a ceasefire in another part). The resumption of war has led to the displacement of over 120,000 civilians in northern Burma, and violations committed by the Burma Army have been characterised as war crimes and genocide. The fighting has intensified since the beginning of 2018, including the use of heavy artillery and aerial bombings by Burma Army against civilians and IDPs. The Burma Army further stepped up its offensives during the dry season of April, displacing a further 7,000 people. Aid and IDP movements have been restricted and hundreds of IDPs remain trapped. Many have been arrested and charged for peaceful demonstrations calling for aid, safe passage, and end to war. Read a joint statement about the Kachin conflict (June 13, 2018) by 25 civil society organisations here.

Starting over: “I got the opportunity to continue my studies and since studying more and more, my thoughts have changed”

After I escaped, I just went back and lived in my village. After three months, they [Burma Army] stopped searching for me, so I took [money for] transportation fees from my mother and left with a Karenni high school principal who is my relative, my brother’s friend. After I escaped from the military, I just thought to struggle for my living. I had a purpose to continue schooling, but my brother said, “If you go and live there [Thailand], you will be safer.” I didn’t care about safety. When he said, “Don’t you want to speak English like me?”, then I thought it would be good for me to continue schooling. Also, I realized I was just 20 when I escaped from the military, so my age was suitable to continue studying. My aunty also encouraged me to study, so I came here [Thailand] and continued my education.

I used to think that as a [Burma Army] deserter, if I was not allowed to study here [Karenni refugee education], I would register as KNPP (Karenni National Progressive Party) army. However, I got the opportunity to continue my studies and since studying more and more, my thoughts have changed.

Looking towards the future: “I want to be the one who can give a helping hand” 

I came here [Ban Mai Nai Soi refugee camp] for my education. I only finished Grade 8 in Burma, so I continued my Grade 9 and Grade 10 [in the camp]. I came here to study and aim to become a person who can support my family and relatives. I have been here for more than three years or almost four years.

For me, I will work after [studying], but if I could [I would like to] continue my study for one or two years [more]. If I cannot continue my study anymore, I will brace myself to work hard. I want to be the one who can give a helping hand. I want to help as much as I can after I finish my school. I don’t dare to look at my own future. I don’t want to hope for myself, but at least, I want to support my parents for one year or two years. I am happy to die after I get a chance to fulfill that because according to Burmese military law, [although] I am a true Burma citizen, I have no chance to step into Burma’s land as I am a deserter. I really suffer about that. However, I could go back to my home illegally. If they catch me, I will have to go to jail. According to military law, after seven years as a deserter it’s possible to become a civilian again, but for me, it’s just been only four or five years, so I have to wait. The advantage is that I can study while waiting.