‘I Have Never Regretted Becoming a Soldier’

When I was at school I was told that Karen were rebels…I wanted to see and know about the Karen, who are the Karen?

Shan Lay comes from a big family. Tragically, he was forced to face the severity of the struggle in Burma early on as Shan Lay lost his older sister and grandfather in the struggle for democracy in 1988.

My big sister and grandfather died in the 8888 uprising in Rangoon, tells Shan Lay.

Shan Lay now has 6 siblings still alive. His father is ethnic Shan and a soldier for the Shan State Army (SSA). Before being perished in Rangoon, Shan Lay’s grandfather was also a soldier for SSA. Although Shan Lay’s mother is ethnic Karen, young Shan Lay didn’t know much about the Karen culture or history.

When I was at school I was told that Karen were rebels. That’s all I knew. My mom didn’t speak Karen. I wanted to see and know about the Karen, who are the Karen? I didn’t like that I was taught that Karen are rebels. I really hated the Burmese for teaching that.

 

If you refuse to give away your land they will come with a bulldozer and destroy the farm

Shan Lay’s family made a living growing pineapples and tealeaves in a rural village near Tanggyi, Shan State. When Shan Lay was 14 years old the Burmese military came and confiscated their land and their home to make a training ground for the military. Their plantations were destroyed.

We were given nothing and we lost everything we had. If you refuse to give away your land they will come with a bulldozer and destroy the farm. We had to leave and live with my aunt and uncle in Taunggyi. Our relatives helped us. It was very difficult to manage and to try to find another farm as we had no money or anything.

Shan Lay’s family was among many others whose lives were interrupted.

In the village there were 20 houses… When the Burmese came the villagers abandoned the village and some went to Taunggyi, some to the border. We were all spread around and I was also separated from my childhood friends.

 

I wanted to educate myself more but I knew it was impossible

Shan Lay had finished 10^th standard of schooling in his village.

I wanted to educate myself more but I knew it was impossible. My parents couldn’t pay for it. Especially after they lost their farm and everything there was no way my parents could have paid for me or my siblings to go to school. They were struggling just to survive. I had to stay at home and look after my younger siblings.

In his village, Shan Lay had three close friends all of whom were ethnic Shan. Shan Lay and his friends were forced to separate when the Burmese military came to their village and confiscated their land.

We stayed in contact. Later we decided to travel to Thailand. We were all from the same village, we left together, and we came to Thailand together. I was 15 years old at the time.

 

I didn’t want to be a DKBA

[Democratic Karen Benevolent Army] soldier but we had no choice

We came to Thailand to find work and send money to our families. We travelled by public cars and had to go through several checkpoints. We had to go through areas controlled by different armed groups such as Burmese military and DKBA. We made it down to Hpa-an in the Karen State but then faced difficulties. The line car we were travelling in just left us and all our belongings.

Shan Lay and his friends didn’t know what to do. They were left in an unknown place with no money and no belongings.

We saw a DKBA soldier and asked for help. We made a deal with the soldier. He gave 3000 kyat for each of us in order to get to Myaing Gyi Ngu…. The town is a special DKBA area and people there are only allowed to eat vegetables. We had to stay there for three months and work for DKBA. I didn’t want to be a DKBA soldier but we had no choice.

We weren’t given weapons or anything. We worked helping the monks and doing what was asked such as guarding the gate of the town. We made some money guarding the gate when people entered the town.

 

We walked hundreds of kilometres to Chiang Mai through the jungle

After three months of working for the DKBA, Shan Lay and his friends were allowed to leave and they finally made it to the Thailand-Burma border.

We sneaked in the country and had to pay for someone to take us the Chiang Mai to work. We walked hundreds of kilometres to Chiang Mai through the jungle… We walked with someone who knew the way. We mainly walked during the night so that we wouldn’t be seen by Thai soldiers. We had to hide in the jungle and be very careful and quiet so we wouldn’t be seen.

After making it safely to Chiang Mai, Shan Lay and his friends started working all around the border, where ever they could find work.

We worked on the border for four years…There were also KNU [Karen National Union] soldiers on the border working to earn some extra money and we made friends with one KNU soldier who worked together with us. At the time I didn’t know my friend was a soldier.

 

I learned more about the Karen struggle and realised that the Karen were not really rebels

There was a lot of fighting between the KNU and the Burmese military at the time. While on the border I learned more about the Karen struggle and realised that the Karen were not really rebels. They were trying to make a revolution to set their people free.

In 2004, Shan Lay and his friends joined Karen Revolution Day celebrations in a KNU controlled village and military base camp.

We went there to celebrate the day and see how the Karen celebrate it. In the base camp there were a lot of houses and there was a school, a church and a hospital.

At the celebration, Shan Lay saw his friend from the border wearing a soldier’s uniform. He was very surprised.

I didn’t know he was a soldier until then. I asked his friend if I could also become a soldier. We all joined KNU that day.

The day after, Shan Lay was sent to another KNU company and he was separated from his friends. Shan Lay worked as a farmer for the army for three days before being sent to the battle field.

 

I didn’t even understand simple orders like left or right

When Shan Lay became a soldier he couldn’t speak or understand Karen.

I had to use my ears and my eyes and my brains to memorise a lot when I was given training. I had to look at what the other soldiers were doing. I couldn’t understand the instructions but I listened carefully and just did what others did.

I learned a lot and always did what was asked of my although at first I didn’t even understand simple orders like left or right. I tried very hard to learn the language and to be a good soldier.

Shan Lay spent a lot of time with Karen, ate their food and started feeling more strongly like he was Karen.

I really wanted to help my people. I feel like the camp is my home and KNU soldiers are my family. I grew up in a KNU camp.

When asked if he ever thought about becoming a soldier for SSA, Shan Lay says that it’s the same being a soldier for the Shan or the Karen army.

We are all fighting for the same cause against the Burmese military.

 

To this day, their families don’t know that their sons died

When Shan Lay and his friends joined the army, they were well aware of putting their lives at grave risk. That risk became all too real soon as Shan Lay began receiving devastating news about his friends.

One by one, all of his childhood friends perished in the battle field.

All three of my friends died in the battle field. They died of landmines or being shot. To this day, their families don’t know that their sons died. I think it will make them very sad if they know, that maybe they will die if they know.

 

I have never regretted becoming a soldier

Despite the heartache, Shan Lay cannot imagine a life other than a soldier. He is happy now because he can speak Karen and he has learned a lot.

I train new soldiers, teaching them about landmines and how to shoot and everything that a soldier needs to know. I teach what I have been taught by my commander. I have never regretted becoming a soldier.

Shan Lay also completed training for shooting and he practised a lot to become a skilled shooter. He is now one of the snipers in the army and has a sniper rifle given to him by a foreign soldier.

I am very good at shooting, and I was always a good student and a good soldier. Everything I was taught I memorised very carefully and always followed my commander’s instructions. If I hadn’t, I would already be dead.

 

I will fight for that [the Karen cause] until we win the revolution or I die

Since Shan Lay became a soldier he has seen some soldiers leave the KNU and join the DKBA or Border Guard Force (BGF).

I would never do that. I am completely devoted to the Karen cause and I will fight for that until we win the revolution or I die. I don‘t know why they left and I couldn’t understand it. Only they know themselves.

Shan Lay is deeply saddened by the choices made by those who have left KNU and he thinks unity is a key to success.

If you decide to become a soldier you shouldn’t take that decision lightly. You shouldn’t just come and then leave.

… Karen people should hold each other’s hands tightly, if they do that, then nobody can separate them. All Karen people should love their people, their language, their culture. A lot of Karen who live in other countries are being abused, like in Thailand. Because that’s not their country and they are there illegally. Some Karen don’t even know anything about Karen life and culture, they are Karen but they don’t know what it’s like to be Karen.

… The DKBA and BGF soldiers, those Karen who changed sides, should think and ask themselves what have they done for their country?  General Bo Mya is dead now but his spirit is still here waiting for the day when the Karen win the revolution. We Karen have to fight to win it.

… A lot of people have died during this struggle, both soldiers and civilians. Their spirits are all also waiting for the revolution to happen. Some Karen don’t know about this, they don’t know and they just join DKBA or BGF.

 

…if you just flee and don’t fight for your land you will never get it

Shan Lay says that Karen people, those who live in third countries or in refugee camps, should think about the reasons why they had to flee and why it is that they live there.

Because of the torture and the difficulties they had in Burma they fled away to refugee camp or to third countries. But if you just flee and don’t fight for your land you will never get it. If you want your land and your country then why don’t you come back and fight for it.

If you just shout that you want your country nobody will come and give it to you. General Aung San also said that if you want your country then you have to fight for it.

Shan Lay says that he understands that people who fled to third countries have faced a lot of difficulties and they want a better life for their families. But he wants to ask them to not forget about their own country.

You should love your Karen people and your country. If you don’t love the Karen then nobody else will.

The Karen have been waiting and longing to win the revolution and to go back for so long. But we still have to fight for it. We haven’t won it yet. In the situation now, with the ceasefire between the Burmese military and KNU, the Burmese are calling the Karen soldiers to go back to Karen State. A lot of Karen have been waiting for this for so long that they really want to believe the Burmese.

 

They say if we want peace we must give up our weapons. But how can we trust them?

Shan Lay doesn’t think it’s easy to get peace.

The Burmese say that you can go back but you need to give up your arms. They say if we want peace we must give up our weapons. But how can we trust them? What if something happens, then we can’t do anything.

Long-term peace is different. This is what is needed and it is a big decision to make it. Some people believe them [the Burmese military] too easily and they are easily deceived. The Burmese military can just try to bribe you with money or giving you a car, they can deceive you. You shouldn’t believe that.  If you give them all your weapons one day they can attack you and kill you when you turn your back…I don’t want to kill people but if the Burmese military keeps fighting we have to fight back.

For example, if there is an agreement or friendship between the Burmese military and the Karen, then the Burmese will say that they will not attack Karen areas. But after that, they will keep coming and learning about our land, give money to people to try to separate the Karen and make them fight each other.

 

…they have been sending more weapons and food for their soldiers and built these permanent structures

The Burmese say now things have changed and there is ceasefire. So they should pull their troops away. But they haven’t moved their troops. They have actually been sending more and more food and weapons for the soldiers. They are still there and now they are even building permanent structures in their camps. For the past three years they have been sending more weapons and food for their soldiers and built these permanent structures.

How can the Karen believe them? It doesn’t look like they are planning on going anywhere from Karen areas. The concrete Burmese are building show that they don’t plan on leaving.

 

I will not go back to live in Burma until the country is free

Shan Lay sometimes visits the Thai border town Mae Sot but says he doesn’t like to go there.

I don’t want to go to and visit Mae Sot because it makes me so sad to see how my people are suffering and how they are being treated. Line cars are packed with people and Karen people are very poor and struggle badly for their lives. People work with very low pay and you see people on the roadside.

It makes me feel very sad and to miss my family and think how they are also struggling… 13 years after [their farm was destroyed], my family is still struggling today as they have not found another farm. It’s very difficult to get new land to farm and they still haven’t been able to find that. They now have a small shop… I have never been back to visit them. I don’t dare to go.

… When I see the refugees and others who struggle I just want to work harder for revolution.  I feel so sorry for my people when I see how poor they are and how hard they work… If the Karen had their own country, this wouldn’t happen to them.

My duty is not finished even if I die. It’s not finished until we win the revolution. I will not go back to live in Burma until the country is free.

Shan Lay’s story is based on an interview with Burma Link. Written by Burma Link.